Anas cheramat English coursework Letter
Dear Mrs Hopkins,
This is 2016, a year where the words you utter can not be taken back or easily forgotten. My people are migrants. My father arrived at the age of 27 and my mother the age of 25. They are just two out of a mass amount of people, who, through your words, have been abused. As the son of migrants, I am deeply affected by your words and want to use this opportunity to address your argument.
There is a border between voicing your opinion and being inhuman; you have crossed that border. Ironic that you yourself have crossed a border, but are not letting others through our own. My understanding is that you want to use gunships to kill innocent people who are fleeing from war torn countries. You honestly have no heart. What human could possibly think – let alone write – like that?
So, let’s look at the facts. Whilst there are arguments that migrants take jobs from the British people, in fact they actually pay more in taxes than they take from the welfare state. Since the year 2000 migrants have contributed £25bn to the UK and have used less benefits and social housing than UK residents. So by them as you put it “taking” the jobs, they are in fact helping the country get more money to provide for the people you say they are taking the jobs from. This highlights how you have only considered one side of the argument. As a journalist, you should know that before you publish any information, one should have all the correct facts.
Now lets visit the idea of yours that migrants are terrorists. Even though migrants can be labelled as potential terrorists by an ignorant minority, they are actually fleeing from countries that have been oppressed and terrorised. It can be hard to accept, but our country has contributed to some of this. In the context of empire and up to this very day, we have been involved both politically and economically with what seems to be good intentions to us but which has lead to devastating consequences. As a country, Britain has colonized most of the world, so it is only fair that we extend an invitation for them to stay in our country, seeing as we took over theirs. You would do well to remember the Windrush generation. After all, it was Britain who asked for help and invited migrants to come. Without their contribution, Britain would be not the country it is today.
You say migrants bring nothing but trouble to this country. In fact, migrants have played such a big role in Britain’s history that they have shaped our cultural identity. For example, Fish and Chips. Everyone thinks that Fish and Chips is a British dish, but in fact the history of Fish and Chips is a lot more complicated than you think. In 1665, a group of Jewish refugees arrived in Britain, bringing with them the idea of frying fish. These migrants originated from Spain but fled due to discrimination. This is similar to the migrant crisis now. Both groups were fleeing from violence and persecution. What would have happened if they never came? No fish and chips. Remember that last fish and chips you had? Well, perhaps you should remember where it came from, too.
To put this at rest: you must see migrants bring more than trouble to Britain. If we trace back our ancestry, none of us are pure blood British. Even you, without knowing, could have links with the places people are coming from. To move forward as a human race, we need to put ourselves in their shoes. Miss Hopkins, before you say any more of your nonsense, stop. Put yourself in their position.
February 8, 2016 at 8:11 pm
Hi Anas,
This currently sits at 21/40 (D3). The next grade boundary – C3 – is at 26.
To improve, please work on the following things:
1) There are times when your writing sounds like your speech. I think that’s because you’re trying to develop your argument, which I understand, but you need to try and make this sound more like the opinion pieces you have been reading in the Guardian
2) Please develop the final paragraph. The argument you use is accepted by many as valid. Try and explore this argument more.
3) There are many articles on the Guardian and the Independent regarding refugees at the moment. Read some of them. Use their ideas. See how they write. This will help!
Mr O’B
March 20, 2016 at 9:10 am
Anas,
This is now at 26 (C3). To improve, please address the following issues:
1) You need to write more. As I said before, there is plenty of material on the Guardian and the Independent regarding refugees. This will help you find stuff to improve your argument.
2) Use the expression and style in your final paragraph as a reference for the rest of your writing. The final paragraph is clear, concise and makes a good argument. The rest of the piece should be like this.
Mr O’B